the conversation

Do you read a lot of blogs? I try to. I have a few favourites I try to keep up with.

The first is one by Jon Swanson and it’s great. Go read it. He’s insightful, responsive and most of all looks to build relationships and connections. Jon is my morning cup of coffee. Gets my thinking.

I’ve noticed a real interesting difference between Jon and one of my other favourites Chris Brogan.

Chris has a LOT of people who read his blog, more than Jon. I noticed something interesting things about conversation and relationship.

It’s that size matters. Jon has enough people that comment that a conversation begins, is accessible and most importantly an actual conversation. Chris however lacks some of that. You see, people see the size of his blog and see it as a space to further themselves rather than the conversation. That’s not everyone but so many of the comments I read seam like an excuse to post a link to them selves. I think this a response to the size.

There is a finite amount of people who can take part in a real conversation before it will degenerate into self promotion. Be that of your ideas or your product.

Here’s the point. What do you add to the conversation? Do you add life, depth, and variety or do you leach away the relationship building but self promotion?

Think about it before you join a conversation next time, wherever that conversation may be. Think before you jump on someone who thinks different than you. Are you sharing life, depth, and variety or are you just promoting the way you see it because I can bet you one will be well received and one won’t.

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~ by Philip on January 7, 2009.

4 Responses to “the conversation”

  1. Philip,

    You make a good point that large popular blogs seem to provoke comments designed more to drive traffic another direction than to contribute. On the other hand, when conversations take place on smaller blogs, the smaller group is held together by commitment. Folks contribute when they care, and have reason to expect reciprocal concern. While I have left comments at many blogs that I’ve never read again because I was prospecting for links, or at least traffic, there are a smaller number that I return to day after day. Over time these visits build a virtual community and relationships. A similar process occurs in our physically present conversations and relationships. In a new crowd of unfamiliar faces, many comments really communicate, “look at me.” After real interest is generated, however, relationships begin to form, and commitments are made. Among friends, there is a greater tendency to listen as well as to speak.

  2. Thanks James! I totally agree. And so to that end we need to aware of what we are doing and why. Neither is wrong as long as we don’t misrepresent ourselves. If you join a conversation under the guise of creating a relationship but it is really to further yourself, then issues arise.

  3. We further ourselves when we further others, so furthering oneself is always a consequence of relationships, even of bad relationships. Still, there’s a difference between two-way conversations that are mutually furthering and nakedly self-promoting blog spam.

  4. There is indeed a difference and in all conversation not just on a blog.

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